Time for a Real Chat

I don’t talk about my “feelings” on social, in fact this is totally abnormal for me even IRL, but I do think healthy conversations are important to a person’s growth in any area of their lives. Accountability is also, so that’s why I’ve decided to share this.

I got depressed. Not massively, not chronically, but enough to really affect my attitude and outlook on my life for a while. We all go through phases of self-doubt and fear, but this one lingered longer than usual and really ate me up.

In the last month, my family experienced nasty colds, I had to cancel a business trip I was super excited for, and once we felt better, my wife got food poisoning. All this compounded by poor eating, bad weather, and staying inside threw us for a loop with emotions running high, which is never a good thing in my experience.

Professionally, this made me feel like my career path was wrong, blocked, and hopeless to ever move forward. I feared rejection and to even speak with people. It’s really crushing to get inside your own head and tell yourself lies, even when you know there isn’t an actual problem in the real world.

Thankfully, after WAY too long of a stretch, the bubble popped, and I was sick of feeling so self-centered and lethargic. I decided to take my family for a drive to the mountains to get some photos, take a time lapse, (which I hadn't done in months), and to enjoy the fresh air. This was the first time I really left home in 30 days, and the first step to getting out of my own head.

The time lapse I captured that day. It’s not perfect, but it was a good step.

I should have done that MUCH sooner. Duh. I used the bad wind as an excuse to not go out. I used my tiredness as an excuse to not wake up. I used my self-loathing as an excuse to not work on my craft. I knew the truth the entire time, that just getting going was the key, but I just wouldn't start.

That first step was so important, and just a couple days later, I felt much more grounded and ready to talk to people again. I offered my services to an old friend, reached out to a local business, made amends with my wife, and remembered how blessed I am to have the life that I do.

As I type this, I'm still feeling pretty low, but just interacting with people again has been a major spirit lifter. I was reminded by a handful of friends that joy is plentiful, help is always near, and just getting some fresh air works WONDERS. Why was something so simple so difficult to do?

Finally, getting over myself and thinking of others is where the tipping point was overcome. Fellowship with like-minded people and a common goal is super important for mental health. I'm thankful to have my God, my wife, my parents, my church family, and professional friends to talk to about anything, and I hope to be that for you too.

The only way to do that effectively is to stop worrying about myself and start focusing on others. So simple, but not always easy. Anyway …

Life is good, and I'm grateful you're a part of it.